Maybe it’s not bad luck after all

Sometimes, all it takes is a different reflection.

What I hear often sounds like this:

“I’m starting to lose hope.”

“I’m thinking of giving up.”

Said not dramatically, but with that quiet weariness I recognize instantly, because I know it too well: The kind that comes after too many rejections.

Too much silence.

Too many efforts that lead nowhere.

And what I find most dangerous in all this? It’s not failure. It’s that slow, almost invisible shift: the more rejection you experience, the more likely you are to settle for a fraction of your worth.

You’re doing everything right. You fine-tune your résumé, you rehearse your answers, you show up as prepared as you possibly can.

And yet…You leave the interview with doubt in your gut.

You check your inbox too often, and you start to wonder if you’re the problem.

But what if it’s not about luck? What if it’s not even about skills?

What if, after enough silence, enough rejection, enough letdowns, you’ve simply started to believe it?

Believe that you’re not what they’re looking for, that you need to be more.

More persuasive. More strategic. More "marketable."

And the more you believe it… the more something shifts. You still show up as prepared, but you’re no longer aligned. No longer speaking from that place in you that feels alive. No longer anchored in your voice.

And here’s the cruel paradox: the more rejection you experience, the more likely you are to experience it again.

Not because you’re not good enough.

But because in protecting yourself, you stop shining the same way.

That quiet doubt starts to cling to you and that blurred reflection? It enters the room before you even speak.

I say this a lot: What we need isn’t always a better strategy. Sometimes, we just need a mirror.

A human one.(Not the kind in store fitting rooms that destroy your self-image, we’ve all been there.)

I mean a mirror that reflects back what you can’t see anymore because you’re too tired of defending yourself.

Someone who helps you reassemble the way you see yourself.

Because when you spend too much time trying to prove yourself…you sometimes forget what you really wanted to say in the first place.

This isn’t a guide on how to “sell yourself.”

I won’t encourage you to perform or fit into someone else’s mold.

But if any of this sounds like you, I want you to know something:

Just because you haven’t found the right seat yet, doesn’t mean you need to shrink to fit into all the wrong ones.

I know what it’s like to question your own reflection. I live it too, sometimes, in ways I don’t always share.

I have this sensitivity, sometimes a gift, sometimes a weight, to pick up on what isn’t said.

A micro-expression, a shift in tone, something subtle others might miss…I feel it, in my gut. Right away.

It’s a strength, especially in coaching. I can spot the façade a mile away. (To be honest, I can’t stand the façade.)

But more than anything, I recognize authenticity when it shows up.

Even when it’s hesitant. Even when it’s cracked.

And over time, I’ve realized…I’m a mirror.

If you show up guarded, I feel it. But if you show up real, even a little bit, I reflect it back.

With the warmth. With the light. With the whole damn glow.

So if you’re looking for a space where someone sees you differently, not more, not less, just differently, you know where to find me.

Want to talk? I offer a space to lay it down. Not to reinvent yourself, but to reconnect with a posture that feels like you.

You can message me directly or explore what I offer here: adnevolution.ca/services