Talk about yourself: you think you know your why?

The first answer comes from your head. The seventh comes from your heart.

When preparing for an interview, a career change, an important decision, or a life transition, we often start by thinking about what to say . We practice our sentences, we think about how to present ourselves, we anticipate what the other person might think or react to.

But all too rarely do we start with the simplest and at the same time the most essential question: Why?

What is the 7 Whys method?

We often hear that we need to know our “why”, and it’s so true.

To be honest, when I started my entrepreneurial journey, I did the exercise for the first time, or at least, very seriously. It truly changed something for me, as they say.

At the 5th "why", I struck a nerve. I was so far from my first answer. I realized that my "why" is the essence of who I am, what I project and of course, why I do what I do.

My first “why” was something like: to help as many people as possible .

My 5th was: to be a role model for my son.

At the 7th "why", I laughed and cried at the same time.

But most of us stop at the first answer. Sometimes at the second.

However, it is only by asking ourselves the same question seven times that we truly begin to descend: from the mind, to emotion, and then to what dwells deep within us.

On the surface, it's simple, but in reality, it's powerful.

Why seven times?

Because in the first answer, you explain.

On the second one, you think.

By the third one, you start to feel it, and around the seventh one, that's when you touch on your truth, your own.

(A small clarification, though: we’re not about to start applying the 7 “whys” to everything in life. Why did I choose this coffee? Why is my cat judging me?

At some point, you have to sit with yourself and stop questioning everything hahaha)

It's not just a mental exercise

It's a way of returning to your story, to what truly motivates you. Because what transforms an answer isn't what you say, but where you say it from .

That's what changes confidence, presence.

And yes, I played along.

I often help my clients get to the heart of their motivations using this method. But this time, I wanted to do it myself with a slightly different starting question.

Because the question changes depending on the situation:

• In an interview: Why do I want this position? or Why would I be the right person for this role?

• In career transition: Why do I want to evolve?

  
  

And this time, I asked myself: Why is this technique essential in my work, but also for me?

It's not the same question as in an interview setting, but it led me to exactly the same place: to what is true for me. And I could have chosen any other question. The principle remains the same: when you dig seven times, you always end up finding what is true for you.

My 7 “whys”

Why is this technique (the 7 Whys) essential in my work, but also for me?

1. Because knowing yourself means being connected to who you truly are. And when you're connected to yourself, you know better how you react internally and also with others, and naturally you exude more confidence and charisma.

Why is it important for me to generate that confidence "from within myself" and not by playing a role?

2. Because during periods of transition, I have already been searching for myself and I lacked confidence. I know how much of a hindrance it can be. I know what it's like to wear a mask, to try to be "enough," and how much it can hurt.

Why do these wounds still resonate with me today?

3. Because sometimes, I still find myself masking to be accepted.

And even if it helps me get through a moment, deep down, it can distance me from who I really am.

Why does "being myself" in those moments make a difference to me?

4. Because in trying too hard to please, we can end up losing sight of ourselves. And waking up to a life that is no longer aligned with what we truly desire or with what nourishes us internally.

Why does this risk of "losing sight of each other" concern me so much?

5. Because we can move forward in a life that is no longer our own and create a void.

We no longer shine, we move forward without the right reasons.

Why is this inner emptiness making me react today?

6. Because true connection keeps us alive. Even when you're introverted, you need human connection to feel alive and stay sane.

Why is feeling alive so essential to me now?

7. Because life is fragile and we never know how much time we have. I've seen colleagues retire and die a few months later. I've seen loved ones leave us far too young, without having had the chance to enjoy their lives. So yes, it reminds me that life is now.

And if I choose life, I want to treat it as a gift. I want to live what excites me today, not "later".

And I swear I wasn't expecting that

Starting from the initial question: "Why is the 7 'why' technique essential in my work, but also for me?", I really realized something important.

My first response was something like: "because knowing yourself allows you to be connected to who you truly are." And yes, that makes sense, but it was still quite intellectual, quite logical.

Then, continuing to ask myself the exact same question, over and over again, I surprised myself by answering something like: "because life is fragile and I don't want to wait until later to be and know myself."

And then, it was like I wasn't in the same place at all. At first, I wanted to connect with who I am, and in the end, I realize that I don't have a life to waste being someone else.

Finally, when I reread my first and seventh answers, I realize they both address the same need: to live in accordance with who I am. But the first one, I formulated with my head. And the seventh, I formulated with my heart, my life. And that changes absolutely everything.

In fact, that's what the 7 "whys" allow us to do: we start with what we think and end with what we feel. We move from an idea to something that truly resonates within us. It's no longer just a statement, it's a truth.

So, if you want to try, simply start with an initial answer, then ask yourself, "Why?" and start again. Perhaps in the end, you'll say less what you're supposed to say and more what your heart has longed to say.

And as we like to say, sometimes you need to pause before speaking.

In this case, I mostly wanted to turn inward before answering.