What if we stopped beating around the bush?

“Hi, how are you?”

I’ve lost count of how many times that message was the first thing I received on social media. And every time, I feel a bit unsure.

Meaningful conversation

Is the person trying to sell me something? Are they just unsure how to start a real conversation? I often think: if you're reaching out, there must be a reason, so why not just say it?

We often try to be polite by starting with a safe, generic phrase. But the truth is, we often don’t even know how to respond… and the connection never really happens.

When a stranger asks, “How are you?” , it’s kind of awkward, right? What are you supposed to say besides “I’m fine” ? It’s not like you’re going to reply, “Actually, not great, I had a fight with my partner this morning.”

And yet… these micro-moments could create real connection, if only we dared to ask something different.

What science says about small talk

We think it’s polite to start a conversation with “How are you?” or “Nice weather today, isn’t it?”

But here’s the truth: These are the kinds of exchanges that leave the least emotional impression.

Recent studies show that small talk creates little connection, while deeper conversations, even with strangers, lead to much more satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of closeness.

And at work, it’s no different.

Researchers have found that slightly more personal conversations, even brief ones, contribute to greater trust and help strengthen relationships between colleagues. You don’t need to deliver a speech, just show a little more sincerity.

So what makes a real impact?

Real questions. The kind that spark thought, show genuine interest, and invite meaningful conversation.

Like:

“I saw your latest post, it really made me think…”

or

“I’m curious to know how you see this from your perspective.”

The intention behind our words changes everything. And often, asking just one honest question is enough to stand out, without being loud.

In the workplace?

We like to believe that good work “speaks for itself.”But in the real world? That’s rarely true.

You can be capable, deliver great results, be reliable…But if no one knows how you think, what you see, or what drives you…you might remain unseen, even while doing everything “right.”

Visibility doesn’t come from noise. It comes from intention, connection, and clarity.

And sometimes, one simple question to a colleague or manager can open an unexpected door. We never know which moment of connection could make a difference. And letting a conversation fall flat might mean missing a window of opportunity.

This week…

You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room. You need to be visible to the right people.

So ask a real question. Not a polite script. Not a vague opener. A question that comes from you.

One that builds connection.

Because that’s how you build bridges. That’s how you build trust.

And sometimes… that’s how everything changes.