Train Your Brain to Better Manage Workplace Conflicts

Train your brain to happiness

Have you ever noticed that our brains are trained to see what’s missing? From a young age, we are taught to identify our mistakes in order to improve, to focus on our weaknesses before celebrating our strengths. And while this can be a valuable reflex, it can also take up too much space in our thinking.

In the workplace, this conditioning is everywhere. How often do we hear phrases like:

❌ “I’m not good enough for this position.”

❌ “I should already know how to do this.”

❌ “I’m not capable enough.”

This internal dialogue fuels imposter syndrome. Instead of recognizing our skills and progress, we fixate on what we don’t yet know or haven’t yet achieved.

A Reflex We Apply to Others

What we cultivate within ourselves, we tend to project onto those around us. We notice more easily what others haven’t done, rather than their achievements. We focus more on their shortcomings than on their efforts. We sometimes have the reflex to label people too quickly, without taking the necessary perspective.

I’ve seen this phenomenon firsthand in team management.

Transforming Workplace Conflict Dynamics

As a director, I often had to step in to resolve conflicts between colleagues. When two people were at odds, the tension was palpable. Each person was stuck in their position, convinced they had been wronged by the other.

Before even discussing the conflict, I would always start with one essential step:

🔹 I asked each person to name one thing they appreciated about their colleague.

🔹 A moment when the other had been helpful.

🔹 A piece of advice, a kind gesture, or an effort they had noticed.

Why? Because our brain searches for what it has been trained to see. If we enter a conversation looking only for faults, we will find faults. If we start by focusing on concrete facts and highlighting positive aspects, we open the door to constructive dialogue.

This doesn’t mean ignoring conflicts or minimizing issues. It means changing the approach, setting a healthier foundation for communication, and preventing biases from taking over.

Training Our Brain to See What’s Already There

What if, instead of focusing on what’s missing, we trained ourselves to observe what is already present?

Instead of: “I haven’t reached my goal yet.”✔️ Say: “I’ve already made progress, and I’m continuing to grow.”

Instead of: “Why did they do that?”✔️ Ask: “What did I actually observe in this situation?”

Instead of ignoring people’s good work,✔️ Make it a habit to recognize, celebrate, and acknowledge it.

The way we perceive the world, others, and ourselves is largely shaped by what we train our minds to focus on. And ultimately, leadership is about creating an environment where differences don’t become divisions.

Are you a leader or manager facing team tensions?

Conflicts can be obstacles, but when handled properly, they become opportunities for growth and collaboration. I provide guidance and concrete tools to help you foster healthy communication and strengthen team cohesion.

Contact me for a conversation about your challenges, and let’s explore strategies tailored to your needs.