Shhh. Silence.

We get to decide what kind of silence we want to offer.

Some silences feel awkward.

Others feel like a relief, and some, more rare, reveal everything left unsaid.

For a long time, I had this reflex: filling the silence.

In interviews, meetings, conversations… I thought that was what it meant to be prepared.

To sound credible. But the more I grow, the more I realize something else:

Silence isn’t a gap to fill.

It's a space to inhabit.

In Interviews: What Silence Really Means

You answer a question.

You finish your sentence… and then, silence.

The recruiter says nothing, and suddenly, your brain kicks into overdrive:

Did I answer wrong?

Should I add something?

Why is this making me so uncomfortable?

But just because the other person is silent doesn’t mean your answer was bad. Sometimes, they’re simply giving you space, to breathe, to reflect.

And sometimes, it’s intentional: a way to see if you’ll start doubting yourself, rambling, or trying too hard to please.

Owning your truth in that silence, that’s already a powerful answer.

It sends the message: I’m comfortable with what I just said. I don’t need to overexplain to be credible.

In Communication: Listening for Real

With many of my clients, I notice the same reflex: wanting to explain, to clarify, to say the “right” thing. As if constantly proving we know what we’re talking about.

But sometimes, saying nothing says the most.

Welcoming silence means giving the other person real space. Letting a sentence land.

And especially, not interrupting.

It shows that you're present, without needing to take control of the conversation right away.

And I’ll admit, sometimes, that’s exactly what hurts: When you speak from the heart…and on the other side, there’s nothing. No questions. No curiosity.

Just that kind of silence that puts a period on what you were brave enough to share.

So yes, not all silences are equal.

Some create space.

Others build walls.

And learning to recognize the difference, that’s part of authentic communication too.

A well-held silence can say:

I'm still with you. You can take your time. Sometimes, that’s all we needed to hear, without words.

We get to decide what kind of silence we want to offer.

In Negotiation: Silence as an Ally

In negotiation, there’s a saying:

Whoever speaks last…yeah, loses.

But in truth, it’s not about power plays. It’s about presence, and calibrated tension.

And mutual respect.

Silence can shake things up.

It can give people space to think.

It also allows us to hear what isn’t being said, hesitation, intuition, uncertainty.

But sometimes, that’s where everything shifts.

A Little Confession...

I’m not perfect with this either.

Sometimes I still jump in too fast, try to reassure, say something instead of letting the space exist.

And often, it’s only after the fact that I realize: maybe that was a moment where silence could’ve done its work.

But I keep coming back to it.

I pay attention, and every time I choose silence; in coaching, in support, in negotiation, I’m reminded just how powerful it really is.

Silence, when owned, is a fierce tool.

Disarmingly precise.

What if you gave it a try?

We often think our value is in what we say.

But it’s just as present in what we dare not to say.

In our ability to breathe and to stop chasing constant validation.

In interviews, in leadership, in life:

You have the right to take your time. You have the right to answer slowly. You have the right to let it resonate.

So this week… what if you tried not rushing to fill the space? Just to see what might rise in that pause.